To Alessia Love at 17 Years Old

On this the first day of spring, I am a fresh 18-year-old of only nine days. And let me tell you, it's okay.

Before my big day, however, I was so afraid to become a a legal adult, a change made by the difference of only one year. Would I lose my memories of otter pops and Mario Party 4? Would I immediately transform into someone even more boring than I already am? Would everyone see me in a new light--a color that didn't match my yellow and pink love of Disney songs, interpretive dancing, and always clinging to my mother's side? (I don't really like yellow, but it seemed to fit and my favorite color is pink.)

Such were the questions that subconsciously buzzed around my brain during the time leading up to March 11, 2016. A nervousness spread down through my body and had me closing my eyes or scrambling to the backseat of the car that would inevitably take me to adulthood. I wanted to stay safe and guarded and warm and cocooned. I wanted to live back in the time where school meant singing songs, chasing boys on the playground, and sitting on a rug. Where it meant learning about shapes and sizes and colors, but not about when those applied to people. Not yet. All the prejudice and injustice and inequality in the world had not yet entered into my realm of understanding, so it didn't have the power to make me sad. And I wanted to keep playing and jumping on couches. I wanted to never feel bad about myself again.

It's silly, I know. I get that now. It's silly to wish for something in the past because the present is most important, and the future is going to come, so I should prepare for it.

Besides. The car keeps going, and that's something I ought to be grateful for.

Other questions come up, and they happen to be real. Will I suddenly be thrust into a world where my mom can no longer speak for me over the phone? Will I be able and responsible to vote? Will I be moving out soon, away from the ever-present arms of my parents? Will I be left to my own devices in a new place?

The list goes on, and then I realize how blessed I am. Why be afraid of something so beautiful as growing in knowledge, wisdom, and growing closer to my loved ones and closer to Christ? Even though "eighteen" has a ring to it that's still a little bit weird and new, it's certainly not the dreadful, scary terrain I'd imagined it to be. It's pretty. And I am happy about it.