Little Women

If I had a bottle for every memory I've lost, I'd be able to send a message to every corner of the earth.

I'm afraid of writing something insignificant because being in Little Women was so significant in my life.

People kept telling me that I am Beth. That I just am her. I always thought she is a better person than I am. I still think that. When people would tell me that I am Beth, I thought what an honor it was to have affected people, I guess. I can't describe the feeling of...I just can't describe it.

I went to rehearsal and wore socks and no shoes. I laughed a lot. I felt awfully happy--a feeling that was usually hard to summon when I was at home alone doing Financial Lit.

It was a place for me to speak in my own voice and hear to others do the same. I got chills all over my body on a daily basis listening to the stunning score of music.

I wrote "Little Women" on the whiteboard every time I got to the ARC to play and work with those people.

This was my favorite number to do in the show.^^ I think it was because it was the first thing I'd do when I went onstage for the first time, and I had the feeling of: this is the beginning. We have forever. The lights on my face just felt like endless days of doing stuff I love.

 Oooohhhh, this actually might have been my favorite part to do. Or the part right before it, "Off To Massachusetts."

Nope, this is it. This is it. The first time I performed this song, I felt three of my best friends shedding more than one tear in the front row, right in front of me. It was weird because it sort of pulled me out for a second, but not really. It was almost like a reminder that people care about me within the story (Marmee, Meg, of course Jo, Amy, Laurie, Mr. Laurence, Mr. March, etc.) and that they are heartbroken that I leave them. It made me feel very sad in that moment to have to say goodbye to them. It also touched me very much to see firsthand that people were affected by the story that I was sharing. The energy in the room was unbelievable. I am telling you, there is nothing like live theater. I was escorted off the stage and allowed myself to feel the affects of that feeling while nobody was watching.
     The last time I performed this song, I remembered that
we grow up too fast.
And we don't have forever. I'm done. This is it. This is it.

 But Beth didn't really die. She'll live with me for a long while.

Gosh, these people. So much love for these people. For the people who directed me and taught me and helped me grow. For my dear supporters and friends. For Louisa May Alcott who wrote the book which I adore as well as the musical. For my real family who gives me real familial experiences and who loves me despite my inherent flaws. For my Heavenly Father who said yes to art on earth and who created people to create it.

I have a novel's worth of gratitude

but I'm sure you wouldn't want to read all that.