Paris

I want to go to Paris.

How?
I want to drive all the way to London and travel the streets with a scooter.

I want to learn the name of every single kid that goes to Lehi High School and be their friend.

I want to complete a triathlon without shedding a tear.

I want to sing Puccini's "O Mio Babbino Caro" in front of the whole world.
I want to go a day without fighting with my siblings.

The last time I really felt alive was when I was gaping over the wobbly tree branch into the green depths of the lake. Heartbeat was louder than my thoughts and I was pressed hard against the trunk of the tree. 20 feet in the air I gripped the massive life to preserve my own. Where are you, breath? I'm gonna pass out here!! Jumping was the craziest thing I'd ever done. 

But I felt alive. 

In mid-air--I kid you not--time seems to slow down for a split second. A blur of red rock and blue sky was all I could see until

water

and 

I 

felt

alive.

I hear Paris is stunning. I've never been there but I almost have.

I've seen lots of pretty pictures, gotten glimpses. What inspires me, you ask? Aaron and Nathanael's relationship on a good day. My plant I've been watering that is growing. Chase Ramsey. Les Miserables. Chocolate and peanut butter. Elephants. Jacob, Captain Moroni, and Teancum. Honeybees. 

Each of the things that inspire me are my glimpses of Paris.

No, no. Let me be awake before I get to Paris. What's the point of going to Paris if I can't anticipate it? What's the point if I can't feel what it feels like to be so close? I love glimpses! If I'm asleep, I won't see any. (Well, maybe in my dreams, but it's not the same thing.)

So I'm going to Paris someday
so again I can feel
alive